Meir Ezra
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You Have the Power to Make People Happy

Previous parts of this article: Part 1   

 

Does Changing People Make Them Happy?

Everyone has an identity. It's what they want to be. You can call it their "beingness."

Trying to make people change their beingness is a common activity. For example, a 10-year-old girl's parents are worried that she loves motorcycles. They are afraid she'll grow up and join a motorcycle gang. So they make her wear dresses and play with dolls. They forbid her from being around motorcycles. A happy girl becomes unhappy.

As another example, Fred is a computer geek. He likes to wear goofy clothes and tell silly jokes. Fred goes to a college where the popular students criticize him. "Fred, your jokes are so dumb I want to gag." "Fred asked me out to dinner once and I laughed at him." "Check out Fred's striped pants! What an idiot!"

Married people often try to change each other's beingness as well. "Jill, I wish you were not so talkative. You're on the phone all day." "Jack, you lazy bum. I wish you were more energetic so you would take me out dancing!" Jack and Jill's marriage is not happy.

How do you feel when someone tries to change your beingness? Perhaps you feel resentful. You might even want to attack the person. You certainly do not feel happier.

Granting Beingness

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